When a dog dies ….
January was a brutal month for my pet-loving friends, as
several of the animals crossed the rainbow bridge. January 18 was a sorrowful
day, with two good friends saying goodbye to their old dogs forever. One of
these was a service dog that had been a faithful and dutiful helper for 14
years. The other was a beloved companion to a woman who had suffered some
hardships over the past couple of years.
The timing of these hit home for me. My one and only dog
passed on the same week in 2018. Until then, I never realized what happens when
a dog dies.
When a dog dies ….
You do not own a dog. You form a relationship. And the dog
understands it is a relationship also. As much as you love your dog, be assured
he loves you more. Because while the dog is a part of your life, you are the
dog’s life. You are it. To your dog, you are a god. You feed it, you play with
it, you spend time together, and you care for its every need. You certainly are
a supreme being in your dog’s eyes.
This is why your dog greets you so enthusiastically when
you return home or reenter a room. Your dog is special to you because no one in
the world is happier to see you than your dog. My daughter’s dog Lily rips
around the house and barks loudly when I visit. And I’m not even her owner. She
pounces on my lap and eagerly tries to kiss me as soon as I sit down. I should have
been this popular back in high school.
But you are supremely important to your dog. It’s why the
dog is happy to see you. It’s why the dog shows you such affection. It’s why
the dog studies your patterns and actions and conforms to your lifestyle as
much as it can. The dog seeks to form a strong bond with you. It may be even more
potent than a human bond. I would contend that lovers bond more strongly at the
beginning of a relationship, but the strength of that bond usually mellows over
time. The bond between dog and human actually never stops growing.
From the human side, the dog is better than any friend. He
will not abandon you, when it seems everyone else has. He is always happy to
see you. On those dreadful days when you’ve been yelled at, lied to,
backstabbed, hated, etc. Your dog merely wants to lick your face. Dogs know
when you are struggling, when you are down, when you are ill. That’s because
they have been intently watching your expressions, routines, and movements –
all to love and respond to you better.
When a dog dies …
You can’t understand what a person experiences when their
dog passes until you experience it yourself. Before I had a dog, when someone’s
dog died, I knew they were sad because they no longer had a pet. I understood
sadness, and I understood pets, so I understood what was happening - right? Not
even close.
It’s typically a more profound pain than the death of a
cat. I have experienced both. Now, this is not to create competition or spur
arguments. Dogs have the ability to bond with their human more deeply than
other pets. Therefore, the pain of separation is more intense. Some exceptional
cats bond with their owners in extraordinary ways. In those cases, I imagine
the grief is similar. So cat owners, in most cases, take your grief level and
turn it up a notch, to know what it’s like when a dog dies.
When a dog dies …..
The grieving process for a dog can take months. I was crushed when my dog died. I don’t know how long it took the pain to stop. I do know that three months afterwards, I was sitting alone in the Indianapolis airport waiting to go home. I was still grieving my dog’s death and had just received some bad news about another matter. As I sat there distressed, I was interrupted by the service dog they walk around to help people who are – well, in distress. “Are you okay?” the handler inquired. I reached down and patted the dog on the head as he looked at me soulfully. “I’m okay,” I replied. “But I do feel better now.”
When a dog dies …..
The bond between dog and person is one of the great joys in
life. It brings happiness to the human, and we can’t even imagine what the dog
experiences from the growing friendship over the many years. The bond grows so
intense that the dog is not just an external being; the dog becomes part of
you.
But when a dog dies, that part gets ripped away. You lose a
piece of your soul that you can never get back. And that’s what creates the
agony, hurt, and grief.
When a dog dies …..
It takes a long time to recover. Peace to all those who
have lost their four-footed friends.