When A Dog Dies

When a dog dies ….

January was a brutal month for my pet-loving friends, as several of the animals crossed the rainbow bridge. January 18 was a sorrowful day, with two good friends saying goodbye to their old dogs forever. One of these was a service dog that had been a faithful and dutiful helper for 14 years. The other was a beloved companion to a woman who had suffered some hardships over the past couple of years.

The timing of these hit home for me. My one and only dog passed on the same week in 2018. Until then, I never realized what happens when a dog dies.

When a dog dies ….

You do not own a dog. You form a relationship. And the dog understands it is a relationship also. As much as you love your dog, be assured he loves you more. Because while the dog is a part of your life, you are the dog’s life. You are it. To your dog, you are a god. You feed it, you play with it, you spend time together, and you care for its every need. You certainly are a supreme being in your dog’s eyes.

This is why your dog greets you so enthusiastically when you return home or reenter a room. Your dog is special to you because no one in the world is happier to see you than your dog. My daughter’s dog Lily rips around the house and barks loudly when I visit. And I’m not even her owner. She pounces on my lap and eagerly tries to kiss me as soon as I sit down. I should have been this popular back in high school.

But you are supremely important to your dog. It’s why the dog is happy to see you. It’s why the dog shows you such affection. It’s why the dog studies your patterns and actions and conforms to your lifestyle as much as it can. The dog seeks to form a strong bond with you. It may be even more potent than a human bond. I would contend that lovers bond more strongly at the beginning of a relationship, but the strength of that bond usually mellows over time. The bond between dog and human actually never stops growing.

From the human side, the dog is better than any friend. He will not abandon you, when it seems everyone else has. He is always happy to see you. On those dreadful days when you’ve been yelled at, lied to, backstabbed, hated, etc. Your dog merely wants to lick your face. Dogs know when you are struggling, when you are down, when you are ill. That’s because they have been intently watching your expressions, routines, and movements – all to love and respond to you better.

When a dog dies …

You can’t understand what a person experiences when their dog passes until you experience it yourself. Before I had a dog, when someone’s dog died, I knew they were sad because they no longer had a pet. I understood sadness, and I understood pets, so I understood what was happening - right? Not even close.

It’s typically a more profound pain than the death of a cat. I have experienced both. Now, this is not to create competition or spur arguments. Dogs have the ability to bond with their human more deeply than other pets. Therefore, the pain of separation is more intense. Some exceptional cats bond with their owners in extraordinary ways. In those cases, I imagine the grief is similar. So cat owners, in most cases, take your grief level and turn it up a notch, to know what it’s like when a dog dies.

When a dog dies …..

The grieving process for a dog can take months. I was crushed when my dog died. I don’t know how long it took the pain to stop. I do know that three months afterwards, I was sitting alone in the Indianapolis airport waiting to go home. I was still grieving my dog’s death and had just received some bad news about another matter. As I sat there distressed, I was interrupted by the service dog they walk around to help people who are – well, in distress. “Are you okay?” the handler inquired. I reached down and patted the dog on the head as he looked at me soulfully. “I’m okay,” I replied. “But I do feel better now.” 

When a dog dies …..

The bond between dog and person is one of the great joys in life. It brings happiness to the human, and we can’t even imagine what the dog experiences from the growing friendship over the many years. The bond grows so intense that the dog is not just an external being; the dog becomes part of you.

But when a dog dies, that part gets ripped away. You lose a piece of your soul that you can never get back. And that’s what creates the agony, hurt, and grief.

When a dog dies …..

It takes a long time to recover. Peace to all those who have lost their four-footed friends.