Take The Pressure Off People

The Survivor

We planted an Eastern Redbud in our backyard several years ago, and I eventually gave it a name: The Survivor. It took root quickly and looked like a nice addition to the landscape. Unfortunately, we planted it in what I now call the wind tunnel of our yard. Storms barrel down our street, then take a slight right turn and hit that side of the property head‑on.

One storm nearly destroyed the young tree. We seriously considered ripping it out. But we didn’t, and it bounced back. Then another storm came along and tore it up again. The tree recovered once more, sending out new shoots as if it were determined to stay alive. 

We also have plenty of deer in the neighborhood, and they started to munch on the tree. So, we sprayed it with the same “safe” repellent we use on all our trees and bushes. For reasons unknown, the spray practically poisoned it. That led to our second conversation about trashing the tree, but we left it alone because we had other yard projects to tackle. And once again, despite everything, the tree recovered. It looks much different now; it’s healthy and growing.

I’m not a tree-and-plant guy. I want them in the yard for aesthetic and functional reasons, and my wife handles all the landscaping. Still, I keep an eye on The Survivor because it’s been through so much. A couple of weeks ago, I noticed one of the new branches was pinned under others and would eventually snap under the pressure as the tree continued to grow.

Like untangling a stubborn cord, I worked the branches around until the pressure was completely gone. The trapped branch was free and ready to grow with the rest of the tree. I’ll admit — I was pretty proud of myself for this tremendous arboristic feat.

What About the People Under Pressure?

I relieved the stress on a tree branch. This got me to thinking: Shouldn’t we do the same for people? Respond when we see pressure building and help keep them from snapping?

For some reason, we don’t naturally do that. In fact, we often do the opposite. When someone acts aggressively, usually a sign they’re under stress, we tend to respond with aggression of our own. It makes us feel better for “standing our ground,” but what if our reaction increases their stress? What if they go home and snap at their spouse or their kids as a result?

When I worked in an office, if a coworker seemed stressed, we avoided them and talked about it behind their back. It’s awkward to ask someone you’re not close to if they’re okay, but at the very least, you can extend a little extra kindness.

Social media makes everything worse. One minute you’re scrolling, the next you’re in a full-blown comment section brawl with a stranger. It never helps. When the dust settles, you feel lousy, they feel lousy, and anyone who witnessed the spectacle probably walks away with a lower opinion of you. I’ve stepped into these messes myself more than once, and I’m making a real effort these days to be milder in my social media comments.

The political climate doesn’t help either. It creates unnecessary stress for everyone. Somewhere along the way, arguing politics became a cultural hobby, like a side effect of the cable‑news era. And when you get pulled into one of those heated debates, do you honestly think you’re going to change the other person’s mind? You won’t. Both sides walk away feeling worse.

I don’t care who you voted for; that’s your business. I preferred the days when people kept their politics private. You can talk about issues, sure, but the conversations ought to stay civil and not raise your blood pressure.

Then there are those “hate-generating” groups who try to divide us by race, income, gender, social status — anything they can use. They do it because they gain power by sowing division and resentment. Yes, it takes effort to live in a multifaceted society and work through your prejudices. But intentionally creating division only adds pressure to people who are already stretched thin.

Time to De‑Stress

We live in a stressful world. Many people we meet are carrying heavy burdens. Instead of adding to their stress, we should help lower the pressure before they snap.

·    Practice kindness

·    Smile more

·    Let small offenses go

·    Be patient

·    Show basic respect

·    Be polite

·    Offer help

·    Avoid arguments

When we do these things, we take pressure off others — and we benefit ourselves.

THE MAN praised people who calm situations instead of inflaming them, who relieve pressure instead of increasing it:

“Blessed are the peacemakers, for they shall be called sons of God.”

And being called a “son of God” is a good thing, indeed.