Remember Me

 Only two more days until I blow this joint. Got so lucky. They said first offense, I promised to make restitution, and boom—a ten‑day sentence. I’m going to get through this just fine.

(The jailer enters)

Jailer: Come on, let’s go.                 
                              

 Me: Go? I’m being released early?

Jailer: (scoffs) No. Didn’t they tell you? You’re being crucified today.

Me: Crucified? No, no, no. This was only a ten‑day sentence. They can’t crucify me.

Jailer: They’re killing some crazy prophet and another criminal. It’s a three‑cross setup, and they don’t like to leave that third cross open. Looks like we’re getting soft, so we have to fill that third cross. And you’re the worst guy in here, so let’s go.

Crucified? Crucified. I’m going to die today. I’m going to die. I’m not ready to die. I don’t deserve to die—not like this. They were supposed to let me go. All because of a crazy prophet—what crazy prophet?

Me: Those are the nails? Ah, nnh, huh, gah. That hurts. Ahh, no, no. Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh!

Soldier: Lift him up, boys. He’s the last one. Your work here is done until we take them down later, so don’t go too far away.

Man on the left cross: (to man on the middle cross) You stupid idiot! You deserved every bit of that flogging you got!

Me: Yeah, you crazy piece of crap!

Wait—just who is this guy? There are all these people here to watch him die? This is kinda sick. And it’s not enough that I have to get crucified, but now I’ve got this big crowd to witness it. Why all this attention for a crazy prophet? There is something posted above his head. What does it say? “This is Jesus, the king of the Jews”

 “This is Jesus! Whoa, that’s Jesus? I didn’t recognize him with his face bashed in. But this ain’t right. I stopped and listened to him one day. He talked about loving your enemies and forgiving those who abuse you. He said the Kingdom of Heaven is near and I could get there by believing in Him and repenting of my transgressions.

I thought it was all bull$h!+, but you can’t just crucify someone for that. Who gets killed for telling people to love each other? This ain’t right. I mean, I did commit a crime, but him—he did nothing wrong. I even heard rumors that he healed some people. I even heard he said he was the Son of God.

Man on the middle cross: Father, forgive them, for they don’t know what they are doing.

What—what? Forgive them? I can’t forgive them – how can he possibly forgive them? This is crazy talk—maybe he is crazy. But that’s what he preached, right? That’s what he said before, and that’s what he just did. Whoa. Maybe it’s not all bull$h!+.

Think. Think. Kingdom of God. Repentance of sin. Son of God. Maybe—just maybe—I got one last shot. I got one last hope.

Man on the left cross (to man on the middle cross): Hey, they say you’re the Messiah. If you’re so special, save yourself—and us while you’re at it.

Me: Dude, shut the #*!% up! Do you not fear God since you are being punished? We are getting what we deserve, but this guy is innocent.

Me: HEY, HEY, Jesus!!!

Man on the middle cross:  Yes?

Me: I heard you teach about the Kingdom of God one time. How does that work?

Man on the middle cross: I’m telling you the truth. If you hear me, believe me, and believe God sent me, you have eternal life and will not be judged, but cross over from death to life.

Me: That’s what I want, man. That’s what I want. Jesus, REMEMBER ME, man. Please remember me. When you enter into your Kingdom – Remember me!

Man on the middle cross: Then, seriously, I assure you —later today, you will be with me in paradise.

Me: Thank you, Jesus! And well then… I guess I’ll see you later.

Wow. I feel so good. I feel so relieved. I feel so alive. Except… except… ahhhhh… uhhhh… uh—(gasp)

 

Is Scott Adams in Heaven?

 (Note: I’m using traditional terms here because of the nature of this post. It’s written for seekers, doubters, and the thinkers who can’t stand organized religion—so save the biblical arguments for church.)

Just before author and Dilbert creator Scott Adams died, he did something that brought pious Christians and outspoken atheists into rare agreement. When those two groups unite, it’s usually because someone has done something terribly wrong—or perhaps remarkably right. 

A few days before he succumbed to prostate cancer, Adams declared: “I accept Jesus Christ as my Lord and Savior, and I look forward to spending an eternity with Him.”

Atheists bristled at the acknowledgment of Jesus, and some Christians questioned the legitimacy of his conversion. Adams openly admitted it was a logical decision rather than an emotional or spiritual one. He said: “I’m not a believer, but I have to admit the risk–reward calculation for doing so looks attractive.” 

This “logical,” head‑over‑heart confession sparked debate about whether it was genuine. Yet it makes perfect sense that Adams, an intellectual, would approach Jesus this way. Just as it’s hard for a rich man to enter Heaven, it can be just as hard for the highly intelligent, whose “brain issues” often cloud their “soul issues”. Adams had been an avowed agnostic and frequently critical of organized religion.

Those who dispute Adams’ confession are trying to impose conditions on coming to Jesus—and that’s the core problem with organized religion. Doctrine, dogma, and denomination send a message to seekers, doubters, and deep thinkers like Adams that you must fix yourself before coming to Jesus.

Clean up your life. Live better. Think better. Go to church. Get it together. Do something before Jesus will accept you. Our religious culture has built a fence around Him: you can reach Him, but only if you can climb the barrier. Or we’ve lifted Him so high that you must elevate yourself to meet Him.

But Jesus meets you where you are—at your level, even at the lowest point of your life. He comes when you call.

Religious people try to complicate the issue. They are already in the Kingdom, and they try to make it more difficult for others to enter. This trips up people of all levels of intelligence.

The late Keith Green captured this concept regarding salvation well:

You try to make things too complicated

But you really don't have to be so smart

You don't learn a thing

Until you soften your heart*

You don’t need to do anything before coming to Jesus. You can come exactly as you are—with your mess, your filth, your mistakes, your baggage. Bring it all. He wants you to bring it because He intends to help you deal with it, and He promises He can.

All He says is COME. Just COME. That’s it – that’s all.

Just come as you are. Heart or head—it doesn’t matter. No conditions.

When Adams said, “I’m not a believer,” he meant he still rejected organized religion and its preconditions. That’s a logical stance from a deeply logical man. That religious barrier had kept him from Jesus. Once it fell away, and it was simply him and Jesus—everything changed.

So, what about this purely logical conversion—is it legitimate? Prayer requires at least some element of faith, so Adams' conversion wasn’t entirely logical after all. And how much faith is needed? Not much—something smaller than a mustard seed is enough.

No preconditions. A tiny spark of faith. And Jesus says, “Come.”

Adams waited until the end. You don’t have to.

‘* Soften Your Heart – Keith Green