Monday, October 19, 2020

We Could Use A Shot Of Empathy Right Now

They are seemingly everywhere. The woman with the pronounced limp. The man moving slowly, leaning on his cane. The person arduously straining, climbing one step at a time. And it’s just not the elderly. The people having difficulty walking come in all ages. Call them the mobility-challenged individuals.

But you don’t notice them. They are invisible to you. They blend into the background. However, you are highly aware of them when they impede your progress. When they slow you down. It can be highly frustrating if you are behind the person climbing the stairs or approaching a single-door entrance or exit.

And that was my view of the mobility-challenged until last year when I suffered a physical malady which caused my right ankle to swell enormously. I was house-ridden for a couple of weeks, and the pain was so intense it was difficult to even move around the house.

Eventually, I was able to drive my car and venture out with the help of my cane. And that’s when I became aware of every mobility-challenged person I witnessed. My pain had made me sensitive to a group of people who were always there, but I never saw. Instinctively, I would ask myself:

What ailment is causing her problem?       

Is he in great pain?

Will she get any better – or worse?

Is this a permanent or temporary condition? (Especially if the person is young)

My pain had made me highly sensitive to the struggles, discomfort, and pain of others. Now it wasn’t “those” people. It was us, because I was one of those people. I had been given a large dose of what we call empathy.

Websters defines empathy as “The action of understanding, being aware of, being sensitive to, and vicariously experiencing the feelings, thoughts, and experience of another.”

And empathy is what is needed most right now in our chaotic environment.  The action of being able to understand the feelings, thoughts, and experiences of others. Of others much different than us. Of others who think much differently than us. Of others who look much different than us. Of others whose possessions are much different than us.

There are forces who are trying to divide us politically, racially, by economic class, etc. It’s all division, and it’s all harmful. But empathy, by definition, unites us. It creates a shared understanding. I am willing to make an effort to understand you. You are making an effort to understand me. It is at this point when the yelling, name-calling, arguing, and rioting stops. It is where the essential discussion begins. We will not be able to solve any of these serious problems without empathy.

And the empathy must be shared by all. If you expect me to empathize with you, you must be willing to extend the same empathy to me. This means we may fundamentally disagree on many issues but understand each other’s feelings, thoughts, and experiences. This is not a one-way street but a circular discussion that creates unity.

Being empathetic takes effort. My ankle is now completely healed, although my condition could return unexpectedly at any time. I am now patient when inconvenienced with the mobility-challenged, however, I am not as empathetic because my pain is gone. The BOOK tells us to “Rejoice with those who rejoice, weep with those who weep.” The rejoicing part is fun and easy. The weeping is much more difficult.

Empathy means I will not judge. I will not shout. I will not become angry or bitter. I will seek to understand. I will seek solutions to the problems. I will seek peace.

1 comment:

  1. >>If you expect me to empathize with you, you must be willing to extend the same empathy to me. <<

    I'm going to politely disagree, bc empathy is most important when other people are being disagreeable. Why is this person being so hateful? Maybe they are going through something. Maybe they are lonely or their dog just died. You don't know. But you can imagine how miserable they must be feeling and that makes their behavior easier to bare (or is it bear?). Maybe that's not empathy. Maybe it's compassion? I don't know. But I think it's important.

    Another well thought out and lovely post. :)

    ReplyDelete