Listen To Those Voices

Yes, we need to pursue our dreams – the subject of my previous post. But which dreams are worthy of chasing? Well, there was a clue in that post that you probably overlooked. When I suggested that Shantelle consider doing some modeling, her response was literally, “I get that a lot.”

So, numerous people are presenting Shantelle with the same idea. What should she do?

People are always offering us ideas or suggestions. How do we tell which ones are valid?

These ideas/suggestions fall into three categories:

-         Really Good/No-Brainers

These are excellent ideas that you know are winners the moment they hit your ears. Sometimes they are so evident that you can’t believe you never thought of that. You enthusiastically thank the person for their wisdom and take the recommended action as soon as possible.

-         Really Bad/No-Brainers

These are bad ideas. Sometimes really bad ideas, that would fail miserably with possibly harmful consequences. The person offering them either doesn’t understand the situation or may be a bit dim-witted. You nod, smile, and say “that’s interesting,” and hope the subject never comes up again. 

-         The Unknowns/Possibles

These ideas could be good or could be bad. You may have considered them in the past. You may have even tried them previously with little success. These ideas tend to be more complex and may take time, effort, or resources to implement. You can’t determine if you should try the idea because it is a question of the risks versus the rewards.

Making Decisions About The Unknowns

We tend to automatically dismiss the Unknowns because we instinctively focus on the risks rather than the rewards. “I could try that, but I would need to this, this, and this, and it probably wouldn’t work.” Therefore, the first time the idea is suggested it is considered, but quickly dismissed.

However, when a second person suggests the same idea, it is worthy of greater consideration. But the risks are still there, and the rewards are still unknown, so I still usually dismiss the idea at this point.

A third suggestion by another person changes the game, though. Three people telling me the same thing is my tipping point. Instead of thinking of reasons why the idea won’t work, I change my perspective and ask myself, “How can I make this work?” It is wonderful what happens when you look at things from a different angle, exploring the possibilities rather than the pitfalls. After doing this, I usually can develop a strategy for trying the idea.

Therefore, in these cases, I implement a “Rule of 3”. If three people tell me the same thing, then I am going to assume there is merit in the idea. Remember, often, the CREATOR speaks to us directly through other people when we are too busy, stubborn, distracted, fearful, or in denial of the truth right in front of our face.

It Also Works In Reverse

Unfortunately, this “Rule of 3” works in reverse. If one person criticizes you for something, we quickly dismiss it by thinking: He’s stupid, he’s biased, he’s jealous, he doesn’t like me, etc. But when a third person says, “Bill, you’re really being selfish here,” those people, even if they are your enemies, probably have a point, and you may need to work on that personal deficiency.

Listen, Then Act

The Rule of 3 in Shantelle’s case means she should put together a portfolio and send it to a modeling agency. In your life, follow this Rule of 3. If three people tell you the same thing, they probably can see something you can’t. Listen to what they are saying; then go for it!