Winning At The Game Of Life

I was taking an early morning walk at the park. I spend most of my time on the walking trail, but I always take a lap around the tennis courts. I often play on these courts, but today I am just a spectator.

Only one of the ten courts was occupied, as it was already a hot morning.  As I walked along the courts, I thought it odd the people were playing on the far court, when all the closer courts were available.

I could not yet see the lone tennis players because the windscreen blocked my view. But I could tell by the constant chatter and laughter they were having a competitive match, and a good time to boot. However, I was stunned when I turned the corner and could watch them play.

There were two guys, in their 20s, maybe early 30s, and they were horrendous, awful tennis players. It was apparent they had never had a tennis lesson in their lives. I don’t think they had ever watched any tennis on television, or they would have at least had some idea on what a proper tennis stroke looks like. They exhibited all the grace and skill of two grandmothers playing badminton. I’m not a great tennis player, but I could have defeated either of them playing left-handed. Really.

However, they were evenly matched, which is beneficial for tennis partners. They both hit the ball the same way – which was horribly. The match was indeed competitive. They were trying hard to win, despite their lack of ability. And they were having a blast – laughing hard and frequently at their terrible, errant shots. It was as if they had no idea how badly they were playing, and didn’t really care.

As I turned to head back to the walking track, I smiled as I tried not to laugh out loud at the woeful attempt at tennis I had just witnessed.

But then that inner voice, that always seems to irritate me, asked me a question:

Hey Don, do you have that much fun when you play tennis?

“Well, no, I don’t.”                                          

Why?

“I guess sometimes I have trouble controlling my backhand. On certain days the backhand goes everywhere but in. I expect every backhand I hit to be an excellent shot, and when that doesn’t happen, I can get irritated and annoyed. My tennis partner no doubt gets tired of hearing my constant whining.”

So, these two awful tennis players enjoy their time on the court much more than you do?

Uh, yeah ….

Then you may be better at the game of tennis, but those two guys are better at the game of life

The Game of Life

Wouldn’t we all be better off if instead of getting upset at the shots we hit out, we rejoice at the shots we hit in? Perhaps winning at the game of life is all about managing expectations. We live with all these expectations for our accomplishments, career, income, wealth, children, spouse, other people, co-workers, lifestyle, etc., etc., etc.  Lots of high expectations.

How much more satisfying would our lives be if we set expectations at the realistic level in all areas? Of course, in most situations we would have to lower our expectations. And I don’t know how you set proper expectations and still have the motivation to achieve things. But I am learning. I set high expectations for my first two books and became distressed when they failed to achieve what I wanted. I even suffered a panic attack in May 2018 due to this. I don’t have any expectations for my third book. I delight in each book sold. This time, I don’t even care what the critics say about my book. I know that the writing is the best I have ever done. And I am happy, much happier than I was during my first two book launches. I am still motivated to sell as many books that I can, not for the money, but for the challenge.

Laughing At Yourself

Being able to laugh a lot is a great trait to possess; however, the ability to laugh at yourself is precious. Of course, my humor blog attests to the fact that I do that well, but I don’t do it as well as my friend, Lynn.

Lynn entertains her Facebook friends with lengthy, hilarious narratives of her foibles and quirks in dealing with her household tasks and crazy life. From the outside, you would not be impressed with Lynn’s life. Like all of us, she has made some bad choices, and life has dealt her some challenges on top of that. But she doesn’t care one bit what you or anyone else thinks about her. You can’t judge her, because she refuses to put her life on trial.

Despite that, Lynn attacks life with gusto. She extracts the maximum enjoyment out of the life she has. Lynn wouldn’t trade her life for yours, because it doesn’t matter. She would be able to extract the same amount of joy out of life, no matter the circumstances. I don’t get to see Lynn that often, be she is one of my most favorite friends. When I’m standing next to her, I feel better due to the positive energy she radiates.

Again, if you look at her status, her job, her life, you will not be impressed. But the woman is a winner — a winner at the Game of Life.

Winning This Game

To conclude, three rules for winning at the Game of Life:

1.    Extract as much enjoyment as you can out of everything you do.

2.    Set realistic expectations, yet stay motivated.

3.    Learn to laugh at yourself more often – don’t take yourself or life too seriously.