Are You Good Enough?

Because someone, somewhere, needs to hear this …

In the spring of 2018, Joe Burrows was told he would not be the starting quarterback for Ohio State the upcoming season.

The message was clear: “You’re not good enough”

But Burrows didn’t believe them. He transferred to LSU where he was good enough to lead his team to the 2020 National Championship. And, oh yes, in December 2019, the Heisman voters not only thought he was good enough, they deemed him the best.

Throughout our lives, we will hear the same message repeated:

“You’re Not Good Enough”

Oh, they won’t say it that bluntly. “Not good enough” is expressed in many different forms:

I don’t love you anymore

We’ve decided to go another direction

You’re going to assist Jim on this project

You didn’t get the job

Better luck next time

I want a divorce

Your contract has not been renewed

We’re breaking up

Your performance didn’t measure up

You’re cut

You have failed to meet expectations

We’re going to have to reject your ….

We have no interest in your …..

Don’t call us

You’re fired

We’ve eliminated your position

We’ve all heard these and failure is a part of life.  But …….

You don’t let other people decide if you are good enough

YOU DETERMINE IF YOU’RE GOOD ENOUGH  

It’s your decision. It is your responsibility. It is your determination.

IT IS YOUR’S - NOT “THEIRS”!

Many times, when you are told: “You are not good enough,” it’s not even true.

Why?

Because people can be:

-       Vindictive

-       Irrational

-       Stupid

-       Self-seeking

-       Biased

-       Ignorant

-       Mean

-       Just plain wrong

Remember, not everyone has your best interest at heart. Sometimes, not even your boss, your friends, your family … your spouse.

There is a fine line between self-doubt and self actualization. Don’t let the haters

shove you across it.

We allow people to stick that “not good enough” label on us like a piece of feces that we carry around with us for a long time. It can stay stuck on some people for their entire lives.

When we let it stick, it paralyzes us with self-doubt and a negative self- image. And once it’s on us, it can be hard to wash off. If the comments were made by your parents, lover or someone you highly respect, it might take counseling to wipe the stink off. If it is not as resilient, you still need the help of your friends to get clean. 

And that’s where the “Be There” of my last post becomes real and practical.

Over the last several months, I have long, difficult discussions with three friends who were devastated because they were told “you’re not good enough” by their bosses. They all needed affirmation that they were put in unfair situations at work, and basically set up for failure.

It’s difficult to overcome being told you're not good enough, but this is how it’s done:

In a 15-month span, in 2015-16, Raheem Mostert was cut by six NFL teams. In effect, he was told he was not good enough six times by six different coaches.

Heck, one of those teams was the Cleveland Browns, the worst team in the league. A team that only won one game that entire season. When a team that awful says you’re not good enough, you really have to think about quitting. But:

YOU DETERMINE IF YOU’RE GOOD ENOUGH  - Not anyone else.

Mostert didn’t quit. He thought he was good enough to play in the NFL. He didn’t listen to those other six teams. And he was right. As a San Francisco 49’er he became the first running back in history to run for at least 200 yards and four touchdowns in the 2020 NFC championship game.

And there are those instances where “You’re not good enough” really means – “You’re not good enough, yet.” Except the people giving you the news don’t include the “yet” part. Because they don’t want to help and encourage you. They simply want you to go away. So, sometimes hearing those words, but not believing them, creates an intense motivation to improve and succeed. Mostert kept the exact cut dates in an app on his phone as motivation and no doubt Burrow felt he had something to prove to himself and others also.

This is not to say you can do anything if you just try hard enough. This is not one of those rah-rah, “you have the potential to achieve anything” motivational speeches. This is just deep heavy stuff. Which means sometimes “they” are correct, you are truly “not good enough” for the task at hand.

Unless you are exceptional, you do have limits. But the only way to determine if you are truly exceptional is to challenge those limits. You’ve got to test the limits of your capabilities. Test, test often. Test every day. Which means pushing back, sometimes pushing back hard, when “they” tell you “you’re not good enough”.

Don’t let someone who cares nothing – NOTHING – about you, divert you from the path you have chosen. You are the captain of this ship – you steer it where you want it to go.  And you don’t stink. You just need all that crap that people have thrown at you washed off.

YOU DETERMINE IF YOU’RE GOOD ENOUGH – YOU, YOU ALONE