My elderly mother lay in a hospital bed, soon after a
near-fatal heart attack. We talked a bit when I first arrived, but she had
grown weary, and now her eyes were closed as she struggled for every breath. I
just sat in the silence, watching her breathe, wondering if one of those would
be her last. Hoping she had not come to the end of the line.
Suddenly, the evening nurse burst through the door. There
was a quick greeting, then the nurse checked my mother’s vitals and began the
process of servicing the room. This woman was meticulous and dedicated to her
job. There was no idle chit chat because she was working so diligently. I
presumed that it had been a tough day for her since she looked somewhat
downcast. Maybe she was behind on her rounds, and thus the rapid work pace. My
mother had returned to her restive state soon after her vitals were complete.
As I sat there, I appreciated how hard this nurse was
working to make sure my mother, and her room, were cared for. I felt the need to
thank her for her effort, before she bolted out the door to her next room. I
patiently waited as she completed her tasks and turned to go. The words “thank
you” were right on my lips, when my mother opened her eyes and said “thank you”
to the nurse. And when my mother said “thank you” to anyone, her tone and
facial expression denoted a deep appreciation. It wasn’t lip service. It was
more as if she had bestowed a blessing upon you. Yes, I did thank the nurse,
but of course, my words paled in comparison to my mother’s response.
My mother was extremely polite, and of course, she raised
me to be the same. However, even though people would say I am polite, I am not
nearly as polite as my mother. And most of us would agree that we were also
raised to be polite, but often we fail to be. So, we KNOW we should say “please
and thank you” routinely, yet many of us DO NOT. It is the most glaring gap
between head knowledge and actual behavior in our society. Unfortunately, as
our
culture becomes more crass and demanding, it also becomes much less polite.
Therefore:
-
Even though your mother told you this
-
Even though you already know you should do this
-
Even though you already know how to do this
PLEASE SAY “PLEASE AND THANK YOU” at every appropriate
opportunity.
Business Applications
One area where politeness has diminished is in the
corporate world (I have a friend who does workshops on “Business Etiquette”,
instructing people who already know how to act appropriately, to actually do
it.) Companies are plagued with people demanding, insisting, and ordering their
workers to perform.
So, a word to all supervisors, bosses, managers, and
executives: These people are not your slaves; they are literally your
co-workers in achieving your organization's success, and serving your customers
and clients. Therefore, some respect please, exhibited by a “please” for every
request, and a “thank you” when it is completed. This is simple. This is basic.
And it will improve your ability to manage and the performance of your company.
And remember: How you treat your employees
determines how your employees treat your customers.
Real Application
Lately, I have been trying to include “Please” in every
email which requests something. It’s easy to omit this. Think otherwise? Go back and look at the last five request
emails you sent, and you will likely be disappointed. One of my email
catchphrases is “Just let me know”. It should always be, “Please let me know”.
But Don, if nobody else is doing this, why
should I?
Because, you can’t change the world, but you can change your
world. By being less demanding and more polite, you can improve the mood and
outlook of everyone you encounter. If it makes you feel good when someone is
polite to you, then ……. As your mother once said, “This isn’t that difficult”.
And a side note to you young guys out there: Being polite
makes you more attractive to women who have been raised to be polite, because
they then value politeness in a possible suitor. It can give you an advantage over guys who
possess superior attributes or resources. And polite wives are easier to live
with than demanding ones. (just sayin’)
Consider This A Friendly Reminder
Please try to say and write “Please and Thank You” more
often this week and see how much better it feels and how it improves the way people
respond to you. Your mother will be, or would have been, pleased by this. And
she would also be happy with me for reminding you.
And, oh yes, I almost forgot …. Thank you for reading to
the end!